The van ride, even anticipating it, was the most stressful part of this trip so far. The highest leading cause of death in Ecuador is traffic accidents. 

So here I was, getting in a van for a four hour ride through twisty Andean roads. 

Let me add at this point, that this little socialist country has excellent back roads. 

So here I am, all packed up and ready for the van trip. And I'm waiting on the designated street corner for this Van.  

Around the time he was supposed to be there, a driver shows up. I fill out the paperwork for the trip. And then I am joined by this wonderful and crazy collection of travelers from around the world.

There is a couple from Australia (actually a mixed marriage -- she is from New Zealand). There is a woman from Austria. She speaks German, French, and English.
In addition there is a French man who now lives in Canada. We get on our way about a half an hour late. And we drive. And drive. 

Now those who know me well, know that patience in terms of things like travel, is one of the things that I'm seeking to better myself on this trip.  

So we have been driving for what seems like hours, and I look at my phone and I see we still have 2 1/2 hours to go. Ok let's reach.  

Gratefully, the conversation is great. The guy from Australia fixes on the fact that I'm from Oregon. He says, hey don't they have a great college football team?

Then the Frenchman asks we think the Cavs could win if all players are healthy. 

You can imagine my questions on European rugby were not as nuanced. 

So we arrive about six.  There is a mixup and I'm being left at another spa and on my own to get to my place.   

Did I mention I am tired. Stressed. Hungry and grumpy.  

The Aussie tries to help. 

"It's all right mate."

He's right.  As I told my kids and my students

Patience and flexibility are the two keys to success.  

I just find them more work than being grumpy. 

So I nicely (channelingEdie Baker) say

Say I could use your help. Seems I'm here when I thought I would be somewhere else.  

A phone call. 

One dollar 50

And taxi is dropping me off.  

There are stairs not a ramp up the hill.  

Will this hell never end?!

I have to carry.  Not roll.  My luggage.  

I walk into the lodge and a woman who looks like Eva Longria says excitedly

You're greg!

Ok.   This is getting better.  

She takes me to my bungalow 

More steps.  

Somehow I don't mind it as much now.  

Ten minutes later I'm at the outdoor dining with some fine Cabernet 

And soon a vat of great lasagna.  

Ok.  So I guess I can deal with this.    

Sent from my iPhone

4th love from latitude zero

So much of the past year is a blur  Most days are indistinguishable from one another. 

But there is one day that is different.  

I know where I was.  What I was feeling.  

It was in Sauers driveway. A place I loved for its sense of community.  It's sense of humanity. 

So much the same 

Ronnies blackberry desert 

Nancy's joyful laughter.  Rusty in her sunglasses always keeping a gentle eye on me.  Stobie yelling.  "Ready for another drink Parker?"

I hear it's called cognitive dissonance.  Where the mind and the body are in disconnect.    

My body was doing the same thing it always had on that same day for more than a decade.    

Yet my mind felt a disconnect.  

I remember Brian was never more than a few feet away from me.  As if ready to catch me were I to fall.  

Finally I could stand it no more.  Even though this was a place I knew I was loved and a place I loved.  

It was a place I couldn't stand to bear another moment of the conflict of the past and present 

I remember thinking.  I'll never be able to come back to this place because of the conflict between memory and reality. 

That was a year ago.  Today I am literally a quarter of the earth away from there.   And I miss it dearly.   

I will be there next year.  
I am ready.  

Catching my breathe on Day 12

 Last night I went to a rock concert sponsored by the American Embassy.  I thought it was funny that many of the songs they played for a Independence Day celebration were British bands.     I would have picked Springstein songs.      melloncamp.  

Went to Goza.  My favorite outdoor spot.  Ordered their good Malbec and later their chicken crepes.   

Got back to the apartment late and their was Divorced dave from Denver.  Pilar my delightful equatorial landlord

And a new couple who were staying.  

We stayed up late talking.  Got up normal time.  Headed to Cafe Austria for some coffee Americano and fruit, yogurt  and granola.  

I was not feeling 100%.  So figured I might be worn out from a week of pretty aggressive high altitude walking.   

So back to apartMent for a nap

Got up a couple hours later and felt much better.  

Found a art show online and walked to a new neighborhood.  Cool stuff.   

Now dinner.  How about inca bar.   Bartender recognizes me.  I remember he spent 10 years living in Norman OK.  I tell him my uncle taught there for many years.   

The local gang talked me into a hamburger.   Pretty dang good with what I would

Call homemade potato chip/slices.     

Now I'm back on the banks of the Tomebamba River.   When I'm back in Canby I'm going to

Try and figure out what the secret will be to getting a park on Riverfront we own.    

July 1. Wednesday

Sitting at a window table at Cafe Austria.  European feel.  Just a block from my apartment.

Yesterday I negotiated my first solo taxi ride. Went to the Mall del Rio.  First time in ten days that I felt physically off.  Bought a ticket for the Spanish version of Jurraaic World. Still pretty good even without understanding diolog well.
Left before the movie was over due how poor I felt. Bought some Gatoraide and rested for a bit and actually got scared about how I would negotiate if I got feeling even worse.
But a key element of self reliance is being self reliant.
I was disoriented in this giant mall so I found one of the ubiquitous guards and asked where I could find a taxi.  He was so kind. Walked me all the way to the outside taxi stand and asked another guard to call a taxi.
In 20 minutes I was back in my apartment.  Drank some water and ate my last Cliff bar (yes I should have brought more).  Then laid down with a stomach ache. Took an Alkaselzer and fell asleep for a couple hours.
Got up about 7:30 and had some more water and felt better.  A knock on the door was from another Gringo who lived in the apartment Downstairs.  He asked if i had dinner yet and said no.  Let's go.
We went to an outside cafe and I had some dinner and wine.  Still not feeling 100% but doing much better.  A second glass of wine and Dave told me his life story.
He lived in Denver as an aerospace engineer specialized in weather satellites. He worked with and met Elon Musk to get his satellites in space.
He decided to come to Ecuador for a month to try and get a new perspective on life. He told me his wife last year began an affair with her boss. He moved into an apartment and wanted time away to reflect.
We walked back to our apartments in the warm late evening air.
I thanked him for knocking on my door and suggesting dinner.  I thanked him for the opportunity to share our stories.  We exchanged email addresses and suggested we keep in touch to see how our lives progressed from that shared meal together.

Monday evening at Goza.  One of my favorite wine bars.  Sitting outside watching futball on an outdoor TV.   Yes another glass of Argintine Malbec.

One of the expats invited me over today and we did something very routine.  Took the bus and went grocery shopping    It was fun to see what it would be like to live here.

Again walked all over the place.  Getting pretty familiar with this place.  Spainards did a great job of laying out cities.  

After 9 days I finally needed to do laundry.   There are many places to drop off laundry where they wash and fold and get it back to you the next day.  Because this transaction involved some new words in Spanish I spent some serious effort preparing for it.  
So I walk in and explain what I need.

Sweet lady behind counter said in perfect English
"You can continue in Spanish if you wish but I speak English. "


Turns out she is a retired professor from the university of Cuenca and is helping run her 95 year old fathers cleaning business.  It's ok.  I learned the word for laundry.  

Sitting on the ground next to the Tomebamba River again.  

This is my 9th day in Ecuador.  

I'm healthy and at peace. 

About six months ago I went to the Canby Cinema to attend my first movie solomente.  

It went fine of course.  But I didn't like the apprehension of doing something alone.  

As is consistent with my OCD personality

I wanted that fixed

And now.  

So i figured if you're afraid of water then jump in the deep end of the pool. 

If you're apprehensive of doing things alone then fly solo to someplace you've never been, don't speak the language (well) and spend a month traveling from city to city.   

Tomorrow will be one third of the time I set aside for this little intervention.  

I'm not lonely or sad or apprehensive.  Rather at peace which -- this may sound weird -- but is an odd feeling for me.  

I knew my goal from the start was not Ecuador.  This country -- as wonderful as it is  -- was merely the embryonic sack for my development.  

My goal was to live in peace wherever I was and whoever I was  -- employed.  Not employed.  Elected. Not elected.  Married. Not married. 

It's the fourth quarter. The game is tied.  And it's time for me to call my own plays from the field.   

Put me in coach.  I'm ready to play.   

Cuenca.   Sunday

Eight days on the road and never felt so peaceful. Having crazy dreams about events in my past.  Maybe subconsciously I'm letting go of things.

Something about growing up with the training of things being right and wrong got me off track.
If I disagreed with someone then one of us was wrong.

Starting this year with the city council "gun debate"
And maybe earlier
I've become comfortable with the idea of people coming to different conclusions based on their experience

There is a part of me that wants to do the 12 step approach of apologies to all I approached with a different attitude

Heard from one of my 9th buddies today. God it was great to hear from an old neighbor

Like some other things during that era
I'm trying to extract the beauty of some great times from the
Trauma of the conclusion of that episode.

Time to wander back to the river.  Meeting some American ex pats who invited me to their weekly Sunday cocktails in the afternoon