Is it time to relax?

I've only been working on this for six months now. Ten days from now, I will be in this city on the center of the earth. And staying the first week in this room.







(accessories are for display purposes only, your room may not contain a pretty señorita )

Contacted my banks to let them know they should authorize credit card transactions from South America. Placed funds into an international ATM account. So, starting to feel relaxed. My to-do list is getting smaller.

Catie will be watching my place in Canby. All my bills are on autopay.

What's next?

12 dias

I have to go back many moons to a time before I was married and joined a local theater group. I only did two productions on stage, but stayed active as a fundraiser (bringing Frank and Barbara Roberts to sign a fundraising letter to upgrade all mobility access to our theater); bowler on theater team; and host to a fundraising auction.

I remember my hard-ass director say, we want you prepared but not peak too soon.

As I both will myself and give myself permission to relax, my thoughts feel like snow in a snow globe that's settling. 

Only a few thought raise their hands in the crowded classroom that is my cerebrum. The filter for calling on one of them is: is this something that HAS to be done in the next 12 days.  Helps me settle down.

Death by volcano

So my friends and family have often joked about my pre-occupation with death. Maybe I just like to talk about it to reduce the discomfort about its inevitability. (no organ music at my funeral, Stairway to Heaven played on the piano).

And here I thought I had pre-conceived of every possible way of walking that stairway.

How naive. 

I overlooked this one.

-----

U.S. Embassy Quito, Ecuador

Security Message for U.S. Citizens

Increased Activity on the Cotopaxi Volcano

The U.S. Mission in Ecuador advises U.S. citizens living or traveling in Ecuador that the Cotopaxi volcano, an active volcano near Quito, has recently experienced a rise unusual activity. According to the Ecuadorian Geophysical Institute, since mid-April 2015, Cotopaxi has experienced an unusually high level of seismic activity, more frequent movement of magma inside the volcano, and an increase in sulfur dioxide emissions, resulting in periodic sulfur smells and visible vapor emissions (fumarole activity). While the Ecuadorian government has not announced any alerts for the Cotopaxi volcano at this time, U.S. citizens are advised to take precautions and monitor the news for updates.

---

I land in Quito in 16 days.

As I say, it's been a good life.

Unseasonably calm

And maybe it's the time of year, yes, and maybe it's the time of man.
And I don't know who I am but life is for learning.
We are stardust, we are golden, we are billion year old carbon,
And we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

- Joni Mitchell

This is an odd feeling. Calm. I can usually find something to be anxious about. Especially when I am less than three weeks away from a big solo trip.

Even if I was completely ready -- which I'm not -- I would usually be anxious over the unknown.

But I am ready enough. I'm mentally ready. 

There was something about hitting the one-year mark living in my new place. Haven't developed the vocabulary for why, but it will come. Part of it may be a renewed sense of confidence in my own aloneness. It's not dreadful and I'm enjoying it more every day. And I now eagerly look forward to standing on a street alone -- four thousand miles from here and looking around and saying only to myself, "let's go check this out."

Little boxes

So I have several boxes on my kitchen counter

The one on the right is stuff I am taking to Ecuador. Next to it is stuff I am taking but needs to be repacked. Far left, is a box of stuff I am pretty sure I am taking but want to think about it some more.

Elsewhere around the counter is various crap that I am not taking and need to put away. (those ice cubes are going to melt and then I will want some ice.)

I've been thinking about this for more than six months. First, I thought I would go down and stay. Now I am certain I will return. I am falling in love with Canby again. And, immodestly, I think I may still have some value in some of the upcoming projects. If I like Ecuador, it may become my getaway of choice. But I no longer feel the need to run away and never come back. I just want to run away for a while.

the way out is the way in -- to Ecuador

Three weeks until I fly to Ecuador and last night I finally took care  
of one of those little essential things -- got a return ticket.
Ecuador won't let you in unless you can show you can leave.

I was talking to my son about his New York internship and advising him  
to write down his goals before he left. At least with me, I will set  
goals in my mind, acheive them and not even remember they were goals.

So one of my goals was to feel more comfortable as a traveler. I never  
wrote it down, but I need to do that.

Last night as I was looking at the three legs of my trip home, I felt  
much more at ease evaluating the merits of different departure times,  
airports and legs.
I almost forget a few months ago how much less confidence I had in  
doing that.

I knew I wanted to fly out mid-morning -- so I didn't have to wake up  
and get ground transportation in the twilight.

Did I want to transfer in LAX and have a 16 hour duration trip or Las  
Vegas and SFO and have a 22 - 26 hour trip. Normally one would lean  
towards the shorter flight, but LAX has a reputation as a travelers  
hell. When our family returned from Mexico through LAX, one of my then- 
yougnsters labeled LAX, "the bad place."

So a call to a friend who travels a lot. She said LAX wasn't great but  
getting better. And she said, with my new TSA pre-clearance Global  
Travelers card, I should sail through customs.

24 days

It's usually like this.

In the past, major trips seem so far away. Then they are here. 

People are asking me, "are you excited?"

News flash -- I'm a funny guy. 

Not funny in making you laugh -- but as one friend puts it - quirky.

There may be some original injuries at work here of not wanting to get too excited. Part of my dear mother's effort to prepare me for a changing world. 

But maybe that is the point of the trip. Of reclaiming my life. I've only traveled a few times by myself in the past 25 years. Clearly, this will be the most ambitious. And that's why I am doing it. 

I am reminded of the time our main sewer line to the street went out in our first house in Salem. Homeowner for the first time, I quickly concluded -- while it was a new dilemma for me -- there was no alternative to the option of fixing it -- and soon.

I found someone who could come out the next day. He said he could work on it immediately. The estimate was $3,000. 

I tried to find others who would come out and look at the job. But no one else could be there for a week.

Based upon the best intelligence I had at the time, I said yes.

The next day the job was done. 

The bill came. It was $1,500.

I felt elated as I wrote a check for that amount.

I don't know what to call that part of human nature -- maybe it's comparison.

But I want to travel. By myself. And be comfortable doing it. So I'm planning a trip with exaggerated elements -- flying alone to a country I've never seen.

I am counting on the fact that after this trip -- other solo trips will cost half the emotional effort of this and feel the same sense of elation at planning a trip in August to -- say, New York City.

Or as Hoffman said in Way the Dog, "You think this is bad. This is nothing. You should have seen....."